For the last couple of blog posts, I feel as if my core context specifically emphasized the importance of strength amid trials and tribulations, growth within and overall life as a twenty-something-year-old. However, it is also important for me to realize that 2019 has been a learning chapter for me. How I decide to work on myself, process the lessons or self-reflections, blogging for me is therapeutic. Just like my choice to seek God and therapy, that’s just my preference. I say all that to say, those who read my blogs, sincerely, I thank you! For those of you who are waiting on my thoughts and personal opinions about social consciousness and women empowerment, please stay tuned. I am graciously working on myself, for myself! Now that I have aired the room with that disclaimer I would like to focus on what I’ve been thinking about for October, Rebirthing Myself!
Yes, I said it! Rebirthing Myself! [rēˈbərTH] noun. The process of being reincarnated or born again | the action of reappearing or starting to flourish or increase after a decline; revival. Yes, that’s it, that’s the one. Reappearing or starting to flourish or increase after a decline. For those of you who personally know me already know, 2019 has won hands down. I would like to say I am a pretty strong person, one who can withstand great force or pressure against anything that comes my way. Well, 2019 has truly done a number on me. Going through a series of emotional events, an emotional rollercoaster if you will, health scares, various life events, career stagnancy, family, trying out various niches that had the result of failures, friend dilemmas, relationship woes and ultimately being unhappy for several reasons. Whew, that was a lot but just like myself, I know many of you have faced a lot as well.
Again for those of you who truly know me, know that I am the ultimate perfectionist because I am a Virgo. This means Virgos are adept at big-picture thinking, planning out our lives, vacations, and what we’re going to do today, which makes us feel that we’re in control and secure. We expect perfection from ourselves, and we may project those high standards on other people in our life. Eh, I guess that’s a gift and a curse, for me this year, at least, it has been a curse. Let me rephrase that, for me, it has been the biggest challenge. Due to the nature that I desire to have everything be “perfect” manifested into frustration when things didn’t live up to my expectations (or sometimes unrealistic expectations). One challenge that I can say I learned is learning to go with the flow and accept “good enough” in terms of various niches that resulted in failure and career stagnancy.
However, in other things that have rocked the boat, I truly don’t know how I got to this point. All I know is that I have operated outside of my comfort zone and bloomed in more ways than one. Some of the biggest gems that I will apply in this rebirthing stage is that:
- I have to learn to let go of people and things that do not aid in my growth, of course with prayer and guidance. Up until this point in my life, I never wanted to disappoint the people in my life, so I would spread myself too thin and put myself last. Which has led to a series of things in terms of mental, emotional and physical health. At the end of the day, I am a natural giver, I will give and give and give. I have to hold myself accountable and remove myself from things and people who do not reciprocate to my being. By reciprocate, I mean resources, time and energy not so much materialistic. You cannot pour into someone if your well is empty.
- When given a task, I am incredibly hard-working! When I want something, I will work hard and my work ethic inspires others around me. However, because I work hard others see that and may either want to benefit from it or expect me to do all the work. I am only responsible for MY task at hand, not anything else. I’ve learned that when you help people get to where they want to be that they feel as if they don’t owe you anything especially credit. Or the biggest thing, only using you to help them reach a certain limit and turn into a stranger. Focus on you and your dreams!
- Keep learning, keep growing and keep dedicating your time and energy into things that will reciprocate the same plus more. What you require, what you’re asking for, and what you want is NOT MUCH TO ASK FOR. You will receive everything you want and need plus more if you don’t lose focus on the ultimate treasure.
- Stay consistent
- Do not allow all failed circumstances, relationships or bad careers dictate your heart
- Be intentional, be pure and be honest about who you are and what you are seeking. When you are authentic as a person, others will be able to sense and perceive you as such. You cannot parade around a façade of who you are, those who are in tune with energy and spirits will be able to read right through you. Karma is real! And that’s just that on that!
- Learn to love yourself, first! How you love yourself, how you treat yourself, how you speak to yourself will, in turn, teach others how to love you, too.
Be confident and secure with yourself
- Reframe from negative thinking! Self-sabotaging should be a thing of the past.
- Treat people accordingly, not bad, just accordingly. You should no longer have to tell someone what they’re doing wrong multiple times. Those who truly value you and value your presence within their life will either get it right or get out of the picture.
- Stick with your gut feeling about everything because it is almost always right! (At least my gut feeling has never been wrong, thank you, LORD!) Whether it’s your gut feeling about a making a career move, moving to another state, buying a car, entering that relationship, going out, or being around a certain person and/or people.
I am so thankful for 2019 and the lessons that it continues to teach me even towards the last 60 something days left. 2019 has been a year of proof. People have proven who can and can’t be trusted, I’ve proven to myself what I can and can’t handle, God has proven he is STILL faithful. Thankful for the journey this far and I am so excited to see how I will implement my gems to propel me into my future.